People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
