i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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