I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
