What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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