that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
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