just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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