Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
