I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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