i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
