the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
