So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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