please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
