Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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