Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
