ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
