we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
