Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
