apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
