I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
