Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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