No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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