I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Quick, to the slutcave!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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