Me too!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
