Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
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