she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
