he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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