Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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