12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
