I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
