I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
