dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
