God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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