What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
