Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
