I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
God I need to hump something, right now.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
