Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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