Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
