I puked a lego.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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