Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
