would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
