i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
