Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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