what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
