I wish I could punch you in the face.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
