I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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