i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
