I could have mohawked her pubes.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
