Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
