white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
