he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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