I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Randomize
