Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
