he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
