Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
