And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Everyone says I win the strip club
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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