But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
